It was during this time that I was battling secondary infertility and all the ups and downs every month of finding out that you could not conceive a child among the fertility drug induced hormonal surges. I prayed and cried to God to please allow me to have another child as I knew in my heart that my dream of a third child was undeniably there. Imagine my frustration when I thought I heard the word "No"... I was not listening. My ex and I discussed adoption, but the discussion did not go far.
A short time later, I found myself divorced with two small children, ages 4 and 6. I knew why God had told me no. What was he telling me? I tried dating and found that I was finding many "frogs" and no Prince Charming and it quickly became my mantra with my friends... I eventually stumbled upon a stuffed frog that when you wound it up, it played "Someday My Prince Will Come". It had a prominent place among the decorative pillows on my bed and I would smile every time I saw it.
Fast forward a few years later, and an amazing friend of mine had a son diagnosed with cancer and started a Caringbridge page that allows families to keep friends and family updated on the course of treatment and progress on the health of their family members. If you are familiar with Caringbridge, it is easy to find yourself reaching out to many other families that post on Caringbridge. I am not sure how I stumbled upon Amazing Jacob's Caringbridge page in 2004, but I instantly found a connection to this family. Their symbol of hope and faith through their journey of battling Jacob's cancer was F.R.O.G. meaning "Fully Rely On God". There is so much more to this connection to the Duckworth family, but immediately, I knew that my frogs were a symbol of my own hope...
In December of 2004, I was on vacation in Cancun with my mother and my two kids. We had the most relaxing, wonderful time. I was beginning to allow myself to listen to Him... I felt this STRONG urge to discuss adoption with my mother while we were there. As a single mom, I did not anticipate to receive much encouragement or support to pursue my dream (which is a whole other story in itself that I will tell another time, that began when I was 16). Imagine my surprise when I was met with resounding support and excitement. My mother always knew that my dream was to adopt and that I wanted a third child. Unbeknownst to her, I had been researching adoption for many months.
The culmination of my dream happened in 2005... I knew then that God had not told me "No" all those years before, but rather "Not yet". How awesome that I learned to listen to Him... "Fully Rely On God" and my frogs were a symbol to me of His love and his promise to me. He blessed me by directing me to my daughter, Sophia, born thousands of miles away from another woman's womb but fully in my heart at the same time. He knew long before me that we were to become a forever family.
When I started this blog earlier this year, I thought about what I should call it. The frog was the easy part... it came to me that through all the years of doubting whether God heard my prayers, that I had kissed ALOT of frogs... meaning that I had endured many disappointments, many devastating losses, many opportunities not taken. However, He blessed me with fulfilling my dreams in ways that I could never have comprehended. I am not a strongly religious person, but the past three years have brought me closer to God in ways that I could never have imagined. HE was kissing all those frogs for me... helping me every step of the way.
Tonight, I went into my living room to look at the Christmas tree. On it, are some amazing frogs that I wanted to share with you...
This frog was bought when Morgan was in preschool. It was bought as her Show And Tell Frog and it decorated the class Christmas tree for her two years of preschool and then Grant's two years of preschool. I love this frog...
This is my Frog Prince... I admit I HAVE kissed him... but he has not turned into a handsome prince to sweep me off my feet!
Another little frog in my tree (I promise you I did not take pictures of them all, if I did, you would be here a long time).
This frog joined us last year... he is just blown glass and is so funny, something that makes me smile.
Finally, this little frog is so tiny and hides among the branches. My best friend, Susan, gave him to me a few years ago. I love it that she prays for me to find a prince among all the frogs in the big pond of life!
And, of course, His promise is on Sophia's stocking. She is His precious miracle that He shared with me.
These frog symbols started with Morgan and Grant and ultimately led me to Sophie. How awesome is that?? I am so incredibly blessed with my three miracles! Here is my Favorite Foto Friday for the week!
F.R.O.G. with all your heart.... He may surprise you with what He has planned for you. I can guarantee you one thing... His plan is perfect.
Love and FROG!!!!
Sarah
PS... Don't forget to leave a comment if you would like me to link your FFF post this week!
Sabra & Caleb the Diaper Dancer
Rachel with Sabrina
Steve, Amy, Ethan & Mia
Kerri & Ruby
Katie & Brayden with is Papa
Dawnz's Christmas Miracle - Jellybean!
Julia & Her FFF shout out!
Krystal's shout out to Lucas's Christmas Miracle
Laurie's Christmas Miracle - Joe is OUT of PGN!!
Holly, Gia & Nino (private blog)
Heather, Kyle, Brandon, Devin, Jacob & Allie
Lisa & Sophia
Robyn & Gabriella
Becky & Juliana
Tracy & Brenda
Christina & Aiden
Becca & Myles
Alleen & Gabriella
Shannon & Analise - HOME FOREVER!!
Gerson, Lucas and David Shout Out!
Corey, Gabe, Lily and Sophie
Stephanie & Maya
Ellie, Angelena & Angelo
